I’m sick at home and have been in two stages over 3 weeks. Unable to do anything cerebral, I sit and take in the room and the view outside my windows.
There are things I appreciate:
The tea tree sways in the wind and sunlight re-enacts this movement in the shadows on a blanket at the end of the couch near the window.
Intermittent bird song and the sound of wind.
The feel of the breeze on my arms.
The sunlight illuminating the pink blossoms of an indoor plant.
The sensation of lemon and ginger tea soothing my throat.
The ‘silence’, as much as it can be.
These are outcomes for me based on external conditions: light, architecture, placement of objects, my position, my awareness, my appreciation.
I did not perceive these same things yesterday because:
I felt sicker.
The weather was different.
I wasn’t receptive to many things.
I wasn’t able to feel pleasure.
What I will not do is put these conditions in a spreadsheet and try to control future experiences. I will not create numerical data to ensure moments of pleasure for the next time I’m sick. I will not expect it to be the same next time. I will not assume these conditions will be experienced in the same way by others. I will not expect that everyone is privileged enough to be sick in similar conditions.
I will not write a policy for How to Feel Better During a Prolonged Virus.
